I've gotten two emails this morning from our school district. One from each of my kids' schools, both on the same topic - spurred by multiple and separate incidents. None of which directly involve my girls, this time.
"Racially motivated" is how the schools describe them. At the middle school, there is derogatory language being thrown about freely in the hallways - sometimes aimed directly at a child, other times free to anyone within earshot. "Some students feel unsafe and unwelcome". Sticks and stones though, right? The high school says there was a physical altercation with direct evidence that it was based on race. I'll have to wait until our family dinner table conversation this evening to hear more about that one, I suppose.
"Predominately Caucasian" would be a gross understatement when describing our tiny dot on the map. Before this year, I could count the number of kids, outside of my home, who would check a box other than "white" on one hand. This year, I'd say there were at least 5 at the 5th-6th grade band concert. Eva, Sofia, and I were actually surprised at the number of families that more closely resembled ours in the audience. I would say I am sad but hopeful that this marks the beginning of a shift in our immediate environment.
Is this influx of flavor the cause of the panic that must have incited the recent uptick in "racially motivated" incidents? Is it the current occupant of the White House and his incessant fire starting? Is it the schools' newfound realization that they cannot just allow the "kids will be kids" dismissal anymore? Are parents really supporting the type of language and aggression that cannot be hidden by their children at home?
I don't know.
Is this "racially motivated" harassment really new, though? No.
"Burnt chocolate chip"
"Not the brown one!"
"So-and-so isn't allowed to come to our house. Her parents said no."
"Do you even speak English?"
"Your mom shouldn't make you eat that (chile rellenos), it's weird."
It goes on and on. Since my girls started school, I have had meeting after meeting with teachers (not all going the way you'd hope they would), back and forth emails with administrators (increasingly positive and willing to listen and help), cornered parents at class parties, cornered children at class parties, dealt with people at the crosswalks. and removed my children from sports teams. I have dried the stains left by heartbreak, explained bigotry to little minds too open to understand the concept, and reminded three pre-teen desperate for acceptance young ladies that there is beauty in everyone - but a little extra in them. Because of course that's what a mama does. Every mama wants her children to feel safe and wanted. Unfortunately, not all kids are granted the luxury of feeling it in every space they occupy.
I grew up in a diverse area, surrounded by every flavor of person I could imagine. And, while it was completely normal to me, I now see it as a luxury. Now, through the eyes of my girls, I see that differences are so much more glaring when they are in the minority.
"One of these things is not like the other...one of these things doesn't belong". A song that plays in my head every time I can pick my kid out from a mile away and in the dark when I have to pick her up from a school event. And, yes, she is not like the other... but she sure as hell always belongs.
2019 begins in 25 days. 2019. And parent emails from schools still start with "Racially motivated". Something as simple as some pigment and an accent is still enough to make an entitled child make another child unsure of safety and welcome. 20 fucking 19.
It starts at home, people. Clean up your messes before they leave a stain on my daughters.
