Imagery as a goal

                                                

The caption said that the goal was to reach behind your back and touch your belly button.

The goal.

The average healthy person's reaction to this image and it's stated goal: that's ridiculous and disgusting and dangerous.

The average damaged and struggling person's reaction: close bathroom door, try to reach belly button from behind back, fail, make this an actual goal.

The goal.

This imagery is everywhere and not everyone is strong or comfortable enough to see the idiocy.  Not everyone can see the airbrush strokes or the broken capillaries.  This imagery is, for some, the real life goal.

And, it's not vanity.  It won't be a public victory.  It's the kind they'll reach in the darkened silence of their own sadness.  Then they will be battered with another image and a new goal.

Because there's always always always another image.

And another goal.

Until someone finds a solution and these images are replaced with healthy, smiling faces.

Until that is the goal.

Random advice inspired by the first cup of coffee on a rainy, quiet morning

Be an adventure.  Be the off-road.  Oh, girls, be the I've never been this way before and it looks too challenging for me but my God it would be worth the effort experience.

Wear the lacy, no support, thank goodness for youthful muscles bras as long as you can.  Later, they'll be strictly for function, so enjoy the form as long as you can.

Know the difference between what you can handle and what you should.  Some things have to be endured (death, knock down drag outs with your sisters, bad hair days) and some do not (cheating boyfriends, backstabbing friends, red dye #8).   You are worth more than struggles and not everything has to be hard.

There are a million types of boys.  It's fine to have a type.   Dark hair, light eyes, tall, broad shoulders, the "V" which you will discover one day, no one knows what it's called but everyone will follow it to the closest cliff, whatever you deem to be your "type" is fine.  But, know this:  lots and lots of types of boys, but only two types of men.  Good and not good.  When it comes right down to it, looks don't mean a single thing if all you're looking through are tears.

If you like it, that's all it takes to make it important.  Decide for yourself what floats your boat, then get in and row row row.  People of value will follow or cheer you on and that's how you will know who to leave behind.

Fall for an accent.  It's fine, everyone does it.  There's a lot to be said for having to lean in close and stare at a mouth as it forms "excuse me, miss, where is the library?  And one beer, please".

Love your mama.  She sat down one day and wrote random lessons she learned the hard way while praying you'd sleep long enough for her to finish the last sentence.

Then she made you waffles.