Easy...
Once you get him, you'll see that he isn't really what you want. This, my dear girls, is where I introduce you to the "front". You will fall victim to it, and you will perpetrate it. Over and over and over again.
It will seem like they found the list you made of all the attributes you find most important...
Funny, smart, honest, cute, employed, honorable, easy going, fun, loyal, independent
And they fit this oh-so-vital list. They fit it like a fairy tale. They fit it like the perfect pair of jeans molds to their bounce-a-quarter-off-it backside. "Hooray!" you'll think. "Lucky me, why hasn't someone else snatched this guy up already?!"
Aha! There's the kicker. Because, unless you find this person in your third grade class, someone else has already snatched them. And threw them back. You know why? The "front".
That person who fits your list? Yeah, he doesn't. Give him a minute, and you'll see. Nine times out of nine and a half, that great guy is on a different list.
The dropout, living with his mama, wildly egotistical, shamefully suspicious, kids by at least three different women, checking in with his probation officer, but still with a mighty fine backside list.
But he can't show you all that when he's shyly smiling at you across the table. So, you get the "front". And, you will fall for it. You will want him. And, sometimes, you will get him.
And, four minutes later, when you're hiding your wallet and doubling up on the birth control - you'll remember what I said. You'll remember why you should sometimes be grateful that you didn't get the one you wanted. And, if I've done my job properly, you'll pack his duffel bag and leave it on the lawn for the next list maker to pick up.
No comments:
Post a Comment