Relationship advice to the girls. Part I

The truth is, girls, that you're not always going to get the one you want.

Sometimes they're going to look right through you.

Sometimes they're going to think of you as a friend or a sister or not chemically reactive.

At least once, they will decide to go with the girl who looks a lot like you but doesn't have your sparkling personality.

There will be the time you meet them thirty six seconds after the next-best-thing crossed their path, and you'll wish you had run that red light.

And, more times than you'll want to count, the one you want will already be claimed by the one they don't want anymore.

It'll sting.  No matter the reason, when the one you want is added to the long list of the ones you'll never have, it's going to bite a little.

You're going to be tempted to try to change their mind.  Don't.

You're going to want to illustrate all the ways they're making a huge mistake.  Don't.

You're going to think about waiting her out.  Don't.

And, at least once, you're going to try to become her.  Definitely don't.

If I teach you nothing else about men, let it be this:  nothing is worth losing yourself to.

If I teach you nothing else about relationships, let it be this:  the best ones aren't about chasing or being chased.

And, if I teach you nothing else about yourself, let it be this:  whether you are a sister, a friend, a chemically un-reactive partner, an invisible wall, a conscientious driver or the late comer to the party - you are always always always good enough to be chosen first.

No, you won't always get the one you want.  And next time I'll explain why, sometimes, that's for the best.