I am a strong, independent thinker.

I couldn't care less who thinks I should dress more "appropriately".  Your ideas on my choice of style (or lack thereof) don't effect me at all.  I don't care what you think of what I serve my family to eat or how I keep my house.  You have absolutely no say in any of the thoughts that swirl around in my head.

With one exception.

I care deeply about how I'm doing raising my girls.  And, when it comes to the kind of job I'm doing, I constantly compare myself to those around me.  I know they say that you won't know how you did as a mother until your children are grown, but I believe you get a pretty good idea when looking at the kids around you.

Now, don't get me wrong, I definitely have the cream of the crop of children.  My concern comes in when I'm trying to decide how badly I'm screwing them up.  To make this assessment, I need look no further than some of the moms of my girls' friends.

It is a veritable plethora of "Super Moms".  They work, they have successful marriages, and they have amazing kids.  They are the moms who welcome sleepovers at a moment's notice.  I have yet to have a single sleepover.  I would like to think it's because none of the girls have ever asked for one, but I know it's mostly because I don't need more girls in my house.  I feel like I'm living in a perpetual slumber party... no sleeping, lots of squealing, and plenty of "spa nights".  They are the moms who are raising kids who request donations to their favorite charities instead of presents.  If I even suggested that idea to my kids, they would think I had been abducted and replaced by a total moron.  They don't need any crap, but crap is what they desire every chance they get.  They are the moms who don't blink an eye when their child wants to sign up for yet another activity.  I am nearing my limit simply with two in Girl Scouts, one in dance, one in band, art club & a choir group, two in CCD, and one in soccer.  The moms who have it all together intimidate me.  And I really don't intimidate easily.

It is these women that make me stop when I want to choke myself for agreeing to make two different runs to three different schools in the morning so that Sofia could join the choir group.  Without these women around, unknowingly keeping me in check, I would have thrown in the towel by now.  And, while I know that I will never be the mom that all the other kids want to hang with, I use them as my inspiration to keep trying not to screw up the perfection I was blessed with in my kids.  Or, at the very least, hide it better.