I needed that

It's been a crazy hectic few weeks around here, and I feel like I haven't put any energy into my girls.  You know those days where you fight with them for an hour, drop them at school, race around doing housework, fill orders for one job, race to the other job, race home, force feed vegetables to children barely done with homework, pack them back in the car for some prescheduled event, race back home to throw them in the bath, hastily kiss a still wet forehead and lay them down before collapsing in a heap?  Yeah, that was me for the last toomanydaystocount.  So, while almost all of the energy I can muster is spent on them, it doesn't feel quality enough.  I haven't spent those few minutes focusing on the story they're repeating or singing along while they practice for their programs.  It has not been a stellar mama showing lately, for sure.

And, yesterday was no different - until I found a story Eva's been writing.  She had left it for me in the only place she knew I would find it - on top of my order book.  As I came across the paper, I remembered her asking me to read it.  But I was busy finishing dinner and practicing spelling words with Maya, so I told her to just wait a minute, please.  Well, that minute turned into hours turned into the next day after she was at school.

I won't reveal the entire story, she may be a famous writer one day and want to release it to the highest bidder, but I will quote the lines that got me.

"Alice likes doing fancy moves her mama once told her she was born to be a soccer pro.  Alice wanted to believe her but when Alice played soccer games everybody would think she was the best player on the field everybody except Alice.  Her mama was her biggest fan she could cheer for her so loud that the parents who were cheering for the other team were afraid to cheer."

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This is the story of Alice Crater, The Soccer -Pro.  Alice is a nine year old girl who is serious about sports.  This Alice girl has a mama that makes her feel proud and confident in herself.  This Alice girl loves her mama so much that Alice believes what she says, even if she doubts herself.  That mama is doing something right.

Some days, I really miss the little moments.  I don't kneel down and kiss every minuscule scrape or concentrate on every detail of the latest middle school drama.  Some nights, I cannot wait for them to just go to sleep already so that I can have ten minutes of silence.  Sometimes, I wish away the little moments in favor of the sweet bliss of sleep.  Sometimes, I am failing miserably at the only thing I really cannot afford to fail.  And, at those times, it feels like I am drowning in mistakes.

Then, my kid throws me a lifeline.  You're doing something right, mama.  Look, this is how I see you.  Don't overlook these times, mama, because we aren't.  

Thank you, Alice.