Things undone

I hate having unanswered questions.  Hate it.  Especially when the one person who could answer them is never-to-be-seen-again.  It leaves something unfinished.  I need the closure of an answer.  I don't care if it hurts my feelings or makes me feel stupid - I just want a conclusion.

I don't start things I can't finish.  I don't get into anything with my eyes closed.  Once I'm buckled in, I don't care where the ride is going - I'm on it until the end.  This isn't always easy, actually it almost never is, but it's the only way to really see something through.  To look ahead at something from the beginning then look back at it from the end is the only way to see the road you chose.  So, I don't want to end up at a detour sign when I didn't know the road was closed. 

I recently had a bunch of questions left unanswered.  I haven't been able to sleep since.  My mind races with possible answers, but I don't know which is the right one.  And, I never will.  That doesn't sit well with me at all.  It has been left undone.  I want to file it away in a box marked "Mistake" or "Opportunity Lost" or "What were you thinking" or "Came thisclose" or "What a ride!".  I don't have a box for unanswered questions, because I can't put them away.  So it sits there, rolling around my mind 24/7.  I would like to have that space back for things that can be finished.  I would like to let it go.  I would rather have had the worst possible answer than no answer at all.  Because, with any answer, it would have been finished.  And, I wouldn't be undone.