In my younger days, I was a less-than-stellar truth teller. I was so desperate to have people like me that I'd tell them anything I thought they wanted to hear. I am completely over that now.
As soon as Sofia was born, I knew that I wanted her to trust me more than anything else. I can't trust my own mother on any level, and I hated growing up with that feeling. So, my #1 parenting goal was to be the person she could rely on the most. And, I also knew that she had to see that I never lied to anyone in order to believe that I wouldn't lie to her.
So, I don't lie to anyone about anything anymore. In order to accomplish this, I had to let go of the desire to be liked. done
I had to learn to let go of the people who didn't like hearing the truth. done
I had to try to be tactful when answering some of the things where the truth is best heard with the volume turned down a little. done - ish.
Now, if you ask me a question, I will answer it. It's a very freeing feeling. I've had several people say "I can't believe you said that!" But, my policy is: if it won't hurt my children, I'll tell you everything. Maybe more than I should, but I'll learn to balance it eventually.
Through my journey into the complete truth, I've learned that people really would rather be lied to sometimes. I don't do that anymore, though. So, if you want to hear what a great person you are - be sure of who you are before you ask me. If you want someone to tell you what amazing children you have - take a long look at them before you ask me. However, if you want to give an opinion to me, wait until I ask.
Unsolicited truths are not in my repertoire. If you don't ask, I won't offer. You're welcome.
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