Why does this exist?

Two days ago, my Eva finally decided on a Halloween costume.  A blueberry pancake.  Yep.  So, while trying to imagine how I'm going to create this walking version of her 16th favorite breakfast treat, I turned to Pinterest.  Color me surprised that my child isn't the first person to think of such a thing!  Scrolling down the page, I found that there are several manufactured versions of a pancake costume and a few ideas for how I can make one myself.  Then, this popped up...

Naughty Nemo.  Why does a naughty nemo costume exist?  Who watched this animated movie and thought, "yeah, I'd totally do that fish!"  Or...

"Know what turns me on?!  A mythical horse with one too many appendages!"  Or...

"Yeah, Harry Potter is sexy!" Or...

"Well. If you're going to hell anyway, might as well go big."  Or...

Mmmmm....Elmo.  Seriously, what kind of freaks are living in the alleys of Sesame Street nowadays?!  Or...

Please remind me to take a closer look at those I invite to my next family barbecue.  Because, if you're eyeballing the corn this closely, you should be on some kind of federal watch list.  Or...and this is probably my favorite...

Yes, my friends, she is a Naughty Bathtub.  A naughty bathtub.  Pretty sure that's one clogged drain away from an overflowing toilet.

Why do these costumes exist?  And, they're not just one creative chick's late night craft idea.  They are mass produced for public consumption.  That means, if you have too much vodka one night and stumble into a Halloween party dressed in your polyester preschool fantasy whore outfit, there's a good (?) chance you won't be the only pedophile tease tossing back Jell-O shots.  Remember the good old days when you could only be a naughty nurse or a French maid?  Ah, the simpler days, when men didn't lust after bathtubs or slices of pizza.  The days when it was less child trafficker and more secretary rendezvous.

So, I will travel the streets this year with my zombie and pancake.  Thankful that no one has found a way to turn these things into street walking rainmakers...

Yes, I googled "naughty pancake costume" and have never been more thankful to google images for chocolate stacks of pancakes.  Give it time, I predict it will be a best seller next year.