Voice in her head

Last night, Maya was being extra "entertaining".  She was making up songs and dancing to them.  And, she was cracking herself up with jokes that made no sense.  She was laughing so deeply and freely that we all just stopped to watch her.

"Ita, do you hear voices in your head?", I asked her.

"Yep."

"Really?  What do they say?"

"That I'm awesome.  And I'm very pretty.  And I'm the smartest.  And, I'm the best at backflips."

"Oh, OK.  What does the voice sound like?"

"You."

Forgetting for a moment that Maya has never actually done a backflip, I was short of breath at her answers.  I had asked the question as a joke because she honestly seems to have more going on inside her head than the average kid.  I expected her to look at me like I was crazy when I asked about voices.  Instead, she changed everything.

You always hear that the words a parent says stick in a child's mind.  And, you know it's true on some level.  I can remember every terrible thing my mother ever said to me, including the sound of the hatred in her voice as she formed the scars.  But, to hear from your own child that you are literally the voice inside her head makes you stop and think.  Or at least it should.

I am lucky that what she hears are affirmations.  Of course, they're also all the things Maya already believes to be true about herself.  And, I wholeheartedly believe she would believe these things even without anyone telling her because she has a very strong sense of self.  However, not all kids are born with the self esteem this little one was blessed with.  What does Eva hear inside her mind?  Or Sofia?  Or other children who's parents don't realize what their voice can do?

Do I tell them enough that they are special?  Probably not.  With a preteen, I find myself telling her more often to please brush her teeth/finish her homework/pick up her mess/wipe the dirty look off her face.  With a child who has some emotional issues, I am sure I say too often "go to your room and calm down before we both explode" or "stop whining at me before I rip my own ears off."  Do they know that they are also awesome and pretty and smart?  I hope so, and I hope I can remind them more often now that I've been reminded that my voice is helping to form who they believe themselves to be.

"You are the three most awesome children anyone has ever been given.  You are all special and beautiful and smart.  And, not one of you is good at backflips - yet."