Sofia actually took me on this morning. It was practically a duel at sundown in their bathroom. I wanted her to brush her teeth in a manner that befitted the layer of slime that covered them. She wanted to wipe them gently in an effort to not disturb the science project she's working on below her gums.
So, the stare-down began. Unfortunately for her, I have never lost. In reality, no one has ever actually challenged me for more than a few seconds. Bless her heart, she tried for at least a minute.
See, I've never made anyone weak in the knees. I've never made anyone's heart flutter in excitement. My talents lie elsewhere. I can make people's ankles shake. And, I have been known to make a person or two slump a few inches in the shoulders. I can say more in the cock of one eyebrow than any high paid defense attorney can in an hour of cross-examination.
Really?
You're sure you want to go there with me?
Do you want to try to say that to my face?
I dare you.
Bring. It. On.
So, Sofia gave it her best shot. Who knows? Maybe it would've worked on a less capable opponent. But, if you're going to challenge the master of dirty looks, you have to be willing to walk away in shaky shoes.
I appreciate the effort, Sofia. Better luck next time, dear daughter. And, if it still doesn't work when you try again, at least I'll get another good giggle out of your effort.
No comments:
Post a Comment