There are all kind of books/articles/blogs/Hallmark cards that tell you the things you won't know until you become a parent. They tell you about how you didn't know you could love like that and how you won't sleep the first year. They tell you to remember all of it because it flies by so fast. And, all of that is true. However, there are some things that you can only learn with a few years experience of being a parent. Now, obviously, my oldest is only ten; so, I haven't yet learned all there is to know about motherhood. But I have had more lessons in the past few years that taught me more than anyone ever told me.
Yes, I didn't know I could love this much. This overwhelming love can only be given to someone you nurture and watch grow every day. However, it is matched only by the stifling need I have to protect these children. Protect them from strangers, traffic, boogie men, rabid dogs, stampeding rhinos, lightning strikes, partially hydrogenated anything, red dye #8, heartbreaks, mean girls, shadows, bright lights, the thing that lives under their beds and in their closets, reality. I could go on, but that would take more time away from my guard duty.
Perhaps because of the need to protect, I also have learned the meaning of frustration. The kind of frustration that strangles you. The kind that comes when you've been "potty training" for almost three !@#$ years. The kind that comes from repeating the same simple request ten !@#$ times. The kind that makes you want to take them by the shoulders and shake them, but you can't because you're sure there's a hidden camera somewhere in your house with a direct link to Child Protective Services. Because, of course, these are your babies. You love them. And, although they do the most baffling things imaginable, you can't treat them the way you do anyone else. My children have done things that would've had me breaking up with, cussing out, and/or dismantling anyone else; but, I still have to tuck them in at night.
No, you won't sleep much that first year. But, it doesn't stop there. You will wake up every time you hear anything for the rest of your life. I swear, if my neighbor sneezes at two am, I'm up to say "Bless You". I truly don't understand how my cousin and I were able to sneak out so much as teenagers, didn't our grandma still have her "mom ears"? Maybe that's why old people start to lose their hearing - it's the only way they can get any rest.
They say that, once you have a child, it seems that your heart now lives outside of your body. That you get to watch it walk around and grow. You know what else you get to see??!! Your money live outside of your wallet. Your Friday evenings live outside the realm of fun. Your plans live outside of the schedule that's so full of their social lives. Your retirement live outside of your hands as you pray the money you're putting away for their college educations not be blown on a summer trip to Cancun in ten years.
I have learned more in the last ten years than I ever would've learned if I had stayed in college and done something with my life. And, more than any calculus or European history, these lessons have served me well. At least, they've gotten me this far. And, I certainly use them more than I ever use fractions. So, take that 5th grade math teachers everywhere!
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