Confidence

You know those people at the pool?  The ones that make you think, "Why do they make that suit in that size?".  The ones that make you wonder if they own a mirror, let alone use one. 

I envy those people.

They just let the rolls and the stretch marks and the cellulite bounce in the sunlight without a second thought.  Now, that's Confidence.  The kind of confidence that I have never possessed.  And, the kind that I would kill for.  You may not want to see all they have to offer, but they couldn't care less.  So there!

Now, while I may not want my girls to grow up to model these people in every way, I would love for them to have that kind of spirit.  To walk around with their heads held high without a single thought of what others may be saying about them behind their backs.  I want to nurture their individuality to the point where they can't even imagine that everyone doesn't want to wear mismatched socks and contrasting patterns.  The world is far too full of girls who all want to look alike.  Girls who, when placed in a group, blend right in until the only people that can tell them apart are their mothers.  Everyone wants to be a follower, even when they don't know who they're following.  It takes confidence to be a leader, even if it's just leading out of your closet. 

When I was younger, it was easy to tell the girls that had no confidence.  They were the ones in the tight, short skirts with their chests padded and pushed out.  They wore too much makeup and entirely too much hairspray.  Without any self-esteem, they looked outside of themselves for validation.  But, public attention doesn't equal personal certainty.  And, without the fearlessness, you're just a girl in a too short skirt trying too hard.  And, everyone knows it.

Now, at the ripe old age of 10, Sofia is starting to hide who she is.  At home, she wears crazy socks and does "interesting" things with her hair.  She sings at the top of her lungs and laughs with abandon.  Outside, however, she insists on being as plain as possible.  She doesn't want to stand out at all.  How do I change that?  And, how do I try to teach her sisters the same lesson before they fall victim to their own insecurities?  I know that everyone has things about themselves that they don't want to advertise.  But, obviously, some are better at focusing on the good.  So, how is that taught?  And, how is it learned?

Those women at the pool in the XXL string bikinis have it.  The men with the beer bellies rolling over their speedos have it.  Why can't three beautiful, smart, funny, special girls have that kind of confidence too?  With a little nerve, anything is possible.  It can even turn stretch marked cellulite into something to be envied!