Dear Sofia,

Dear Sofia,

If I had known eleven years ago...

Before you were born, I worried that I wouldn't know how to love you.  I wasn't sure that I could care for you in exactly the way you would need me to.  I had no idea how a mother completely devoted herself to a child.  Then, 38 hours of active labor (most of which was done with an improperly executed epidural) had me really questioning what the heck I was doing.  An emergency c-section (through which I was put to sleep because they again couldn't get the numbing done properly) didn't help to steady my mind.  The last thought I remember having before I was unconscious was:  Wait... what?  The next thing I knew (two hours later), your papi was holding a rolled up blanket to my blurry eyes.  Wait... the blanket had black hair...wait... yes...that blanket is my child.

I remember every moment of your life.  Every one.  Your sisters lives have definitely gone by in a blur, but yours are crystal clear.

You were a sweet baby with a quick giggle and hair that stood out as though you'd been electrocuted.

You were a funny toddler with a sweet smile and a beauty that radiated from within.

You were a smart preschooler with a love of words...LOTS of words...all the time with the words!

You were a generous little kid with a caring heart.

And, now, you are an amazing young lady.  You are smart and thoughtful.  You are sassy and opinionated.  You are my pride and joy.

Things aren't always smooth with you, and I imagine they won't be for awhile.  You have certainly hit the "angst" stage much earlier than I anticipated.  Apparently, the line between parent and pre-teen is very blurred in your vision, though the optometrist assures me your eyesight is fine with your glasses on.  You are still, however, the first person I have ever really loved.  And, no matter how many times we butt heads, your heart is safe with me.

Yes, I worried a lot before you were born that I wouldn't be able to love you.  But that was before we met.  You are one of the three easiest people in the world to adore, and I wouldn't know how not to delight in you.

If only I had known eleven years ago how amazing you would be...

Always,

Mama